"Don’t stand there looking like your self righteous attempt at saving the abused was so valiant. You got him into this mess!" Erin screamed at Nick. "You’re a prick! You and your god-dammed friends are all pricks! And now you’re looking all sad and upset that it’s broken. Well you broke it! Yeah, i may have been part of it but you can’t dare stand there like you and your friends aren’t the real fucking reason we’re here!" The dog lay whimpering on the table as Elliot stepped back, clearly upset and unsure exactly how to proceed. "And You!" Erin lashed out at him causing him to step backward, shocked, before regaining a disgusted look on his face like how any of this could be his fault. "You’re just sitting there so clearly moved be the situation you cant make a decision! He’s hurt, okay! We know that! What we need you to figure out is if you feel like you can compose yourself enough to fix the thing or not. And if not, if you feel unconfident that you can make him better, then just fucking kill him now! Put it out of its misery! And while i’d love to not lose my best friend over there, i’d much rather that then watch him keep suffering like this! Its sickening! So just do your fucking job and let me know what i’m crying over tonight, okay?"
She was happy; she convinced herself as she looked down at the sparkling stone perched on her hand. It was beautiful, it was all beautiful, and she was excited; thats why it was happening, of course. At least thats what she told herself. But there was something sinister and frightening about having to convince herself that it was out of joyful excitement that her hand was shaking and her cheek was wet.
Its a special night for le military boyfriend and i so he was gonna take me out to a fancy dinner. We were gonna dress up and be classy and it was gonna be fun! But something came up that he had to take care of so we decided to cancel at the last minute. Going from eating 50$ steak in a dress to 2$ chef boyardee out of a can in my underwear tonight and i’m totally okay with that. See, flexible!
I was giving up everything.
It was like having a parasite
Eating away at you, always.
The issue was, i was willingly doing it
No one was asking me to
I could have easily avoided it.
But instead here i was
Eagerly offering my life
I barely slept anymore
I barely ate anymore
I subsisted on pure determination
And all of it for a hope
That i was securing a home for myself
And that one day
I could be sure about something
Even if it’s not perfect, at least its sure.
Sometimes i question it
Is that home worth all of this?
Am i not in pain?
But the thought of that home
The thought of that life
The thought of that love
Even the thought is worth it.
All a blinding white
Wind with a defining roar
Heart beating with fright
Soul couldn’t take much more
A shooting star did fall
But the shooting star was dead
A wish to cure it all
But silenced before it was said
The spires pierced his heart
And robbers stole his flesh
You’re story’s not more than art
And you’ve made up whats been left
The monsters stole it all
The love i thought i had
With no one left to call
Nothing left but to be sad
They seeped into the brain
They found what had been good
They bloodied what was sane
They said kill the misunderstood
It had been less than 24 hours since i’d seen him last and already the world was crashing down around me. There i was with unbearable silence screaming at me that i was all alone. I was soaked in watery blood leaking out of the gashes in my leg mixed with the rain lazily falling around me. And yet there was a sense of urgency about that rain; most likely given to it by the many red pinpricks of light covering my torso and head. My hands outstretched to prove i meant them no harm. I didn’t want to kill them i just wanted to kill this feeling of absolute loneliness because i was finally aware at how foolish i was to have not realized the painful truth earlier: the truth that he didn’t love me and i really was alone. But they didn’t believe i wouldn’t hurt them. How could they? In one of my hands i held the compact root of destruction that weighed less than a pound but felt much greater as i clung to it with all my strength. But it was the other hand that felt the weight of all my fear and pain and failure. In the other hand i held the liberated pin.
Your hunger is what prevents you from getting what you want. -alan watts
You tried to force something bad. It didn’t work out and you ended up shattering the good in the process.