While Still Dark

Though she be but little, she is fierce. -ws

Daughter’s monsters from “youth” "Well I’ve lost it all, i am a silhouetteIm a lifeless face that you’ll soon forget And my eyes are damp from the Words that you leftRinging in my head when you broke my chest”

Daughter’s monsters from “youth”

"Well I’ve lost it all, i am a silhouette
Im a lifeless face that you’ll soon forget
And my eyes are damp from the Words that you left
Ringing in my head when you broke my chest”

(Source: rockreflection)

Something close- room for monsters

I was giving up everything.
It was like having a parasite
Eating away at you, always.
The issue was, i was willingly doing it
No one was asking me to
I could have easily avoided it.

But instead here i was
Eagerly offering my life
I barely slept anymore
I barely ate anymore
I subsisted on pure determination

And all of it for a hope
That i was securing a home for myself
And that one day
I could be sure about something
Even if it’s not perfect, at least its sure.

Sometimes i question it
Is that home worth all of this?
Am i not in pain?
But the thought of that home
The thought of that life
The thought of that love
Even the thought is worth it.

Alone- Room For Monsters

All a blinding white
Wind with a defining roar
Heart beating with fright
Soul couldn’t take much more

A shooting star did fall
But the shooting star was dead
A wish to cure it all
But silenced before it was said

The spires pierced his heart
And robbers stole his flesh
You’re story’s not more than art
And you’ve made up whats been left

The monsters stole it all
The love i thought i had
With no one left to call
Nothing left but to be sad

They seeped into the brain
They found what had been good
They bloodied what was sane
They said kill the misunderstood

Easy- 24 hours

It had been less than 24 hours since i’d seen him last and already the world was crashing down around me. There i was with unbearable silence screaming at me that i was all alone. I was soaked in watery blood leaking out of the gashes in my leg mixed with the rain lazily falling around me. And yet there was a sense of urgency about that rain; most likely given to it by the many red pinpricks of light covering my torso and head. My hands outstretched to prove i meant them no harm. I didn’t want to kill them i just wanted to kill this feeling of absolute loneliness because i was finally aware at how foolish i was to have not realized the painful truth earlier: the truth that he didn’t love me and i really was alone. But they didn’t believe i wouldn’t hurt them. How could they? In one of my hands i held the compact root of destruction that weighed less than a pound but felt much greater as i clung to it with all my strength. But it was the other hand that felt the weight of all my fear and pain and failure. In the other hand i held the liberated pin.

“They fail to live because they are always preparing to live.”

—   Alan Watts (via inspirewiki)

Your hunger is what prevents you from getting what you want. -alan watts

You tried to force something bad. It didn’t work out and you ended up shattering the good in the process.

When i looked at him…

He looked just like his father. The same facial structure. The same mannerisms, goals, look in his eyes. That look. That downward look like there was something stirring deep inside causing a mix of disappointment and determination to flood those deep brown eyes. Yet he maintained a self-confidence that somehow managed to overcome that fact and overflow into his caring of other people. It was like that monster of his allowed him to see into other peoples’ souls. He cared about them, you could tell and it was a touching thing to see just how beautiful it was when he helped them. And while immense pride was felt at his presence for his accomplishments and embodiment of his father’s spirit, there was also a certain sadness. It was hard to not think of his father when looking at him. It was hard to fight back those feelings of loss once reminded of them. It was hard to differentiate the two. He was his father’s son.

house-of-gnar:

" I prayed for 20 years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs. " - former slave Fredrick Douglass speaking of escaping slavery

Easy- The Not Love Letter

I never loved you. Its that simple. I never did and I never will. The only issue is I didn’t realize that until too late. I didn’t realize what love felt like until much later. Until him. As for you, i thought i could convince myself to care for you even though i knew i would never grow to have stronger feelings than i already did. But how did i know that that wasn’t love? But moments later you asked if you could put your arm around me, kiss me, call me your own. And all i agreed to and all i did with a complete lack of emotion. Your life, your aspiration, your family, your future, you placed it all in my arms. And i learned to care about it all. But i knew it wasn’t real and i knew that i could never feel the way about you that you felt about me. Which is why i still can’t speak to you. I’m sorry that had to happen to you but i still don’t regret it.

(Source: semperannoying, via house-of-gnar)

On the sketchpad tonight…

Kill the elephants- Alert 312

Let’s go hunting
And kill all the elephants
The room is full of them
Crowding out the realness
Their talk is cute
Through their trunks and their suits
But hypocrisy’s in devilish
The niceties polite
But its sugar coated hellishness

fencehopping:

Surf’s up.

fencehopping:

Surf’s up.

(via house-of-gnar)